Action/Adventure/Sci-fiNew Movie Show

The Expendables 3: Even More 80s Stars!

Hello everybody! For today’s movie club, we have the 80s action star packed film The Expendables 3.


STARRING: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger

DIRECTOR: Patrick Hughes

GENRE: Action

YEAR: 2014

COUNTRY: United States

Barney (Stallone), Christmas (Statham) and the rest of the team comes face-to-face with Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson), who years ago co-founded The Expendables with Barney. Stonebanks subsequently became a ruthless arms trader and someone who Barney was forced to kill… or so he thought. Stonebanks, who eluded death once before, now is making it his mission to end The Expendables — but Barney has other plans. Barney decides that he has to fight old blood with new blood, and brings in a new era of Expendables team members, recruiting individuals who are younger, faster and more tech-savvy. The latest mission becomes a clash of classic old-school style versus high-tech expertise in the Expendables’ most personal battle yet.

nyway, action porn might sound a little strong at first. Especially since this thirdExpendables pic is the first in the franchise to snag a PG-13 rating—welcoming even the kiddies to see Stallone grind up his cigar right along with any and all human scenery in the vicinity. But that doesn’t really change anything when it comes to how accurately this flick hits that brainless bull’s-eye.

I’m saying that this is a movie that wantonly creates an impossible, consequence-free, adrenaline-rush of a world and fills it with as much vivid violence as possible. It throws in some winking banter for anyone who still might be listening after the first 10 minutes. But it’s really the perpetual pound-pound-pound of a parade of aging yet still extremely pumped-up preeners that’s the draw here—bulging-muscled antiques, if you will, whose gnarled features are covered in equal measure with deep wrinkles and gray stubble.

But it’s not all smooth sailing. The film is filled with an incessant amount of awful one liners and the whole second act is bogged down by its own creation. The Expendables 3 is built around this great self-aware narrative idea but that idea back them into a few corners. First, the self-awareness frequently goes too far. For example, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character actually says “Get to the Chopper” instead of just winking at it. Plus, because Barney has to recruit a new team, we’re forced to relive the same scene four times to introduce all these characters. Once they’re on board, you have these new, young characters who are smart and modern. That means, when they go on their first mission and use a bunch of new technology, the ease of it almost feels lazy when compared to the big boom of the old Expendables.

That’s not to say the new team is boring. They have a swagger and energy that’s nicely opposed to the old team. However, they’re seriously short changed on backstory and their entire second act feels like nothing more than an obvious, dialed down place holder to bridge the gap between the opening and the climax.


  •  Perfect casting for main villain.
  • Action porn.


  •  Short changed on backstory for new characters.
  • Horrible second act.
  • Completely not needed.

SCORE: 6.0 / 10

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Brandon Stuhr

Who am I? Just some guy who decided to start writing on the Internet years ago and now operates his own brand and site. Owner/Operator of Modern Neon Media, I make all kinds of niche content to suit my interests at the time. DIY Enthusiast, Brewmaster extraordinaire, and avid freak for geek culture. Follow on my socials for a more "on" version of me.

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